Emerging...

I can hear it. Through a small open window I hear fate calling to me.
"Yes, you are ready, dammit, get the lead out" Every few years or so I
venture forth from my puny turtle shell and I guess it's that time again.
Nearsightedly, I peer out . I see the world and she sees me. Then
recognizing my beleaguered goddess huddled under sharp thorns of fear and pre-emptive logic world/fate/destiny extends her hand, motioning me up toward the unknown. "Come on already, we've been waiting!"

"But what about all those people who write better than I do?" I said. " Who've trained more than I have? Don't they deserve all the good stuff first? And how bourgeois of me...others toil in menial jobs...why should I be lucky enough get to have the writers life, while they work hard just to barely get by? This isn't their pretty life, why should it be mine?"

"Are you going to sit there all day with excuses or get busy?," she said "Once you're a working writer (and let me tell you it won't all be pretty and you might only barely get by some days"), you can donate your writerly time to helping the less fortunate. And as for those you believe more talented than yourself, don't worry, there is enough good stuff for each
and every one of us. There's no chance that your 'gift' alone will use it
all up. Heh, heh. Good one. Now, what are you waiting for???"

"Nothing.", I said as I stepped into the light.
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(Quote courtesy of Jane Underwood from the Writing Salon )
"I fantasized about writing a book for a long time -- decades -- until
finally when I was in my early 30's it was kind of a do or die. Either do
it or stop daydreaming about it." --Sara Paretsky

-------------------
One of the things I've discovered about taking the rightwriting
class is I love reading my stuff out loud. I didn't think I would...in
truth, this very fact stopped me from taking writing classes before. I was
afraid of anyone knowing how bad I could be. Now, I actually think it
would be fun (!) to join a writer's group...for that ongoing feeback,
contacts, motivation.

I'm also thinking very seriously of going to part time work, even though
with my slave-wage lifestyle I can barely afford it. Here's what Ralfee
Finn has to say about financial situations...

"One financial cycle is ending, another is beginning, and while the new
cycle might be bumpy, you can still set an intention for success. I’m not
advising you to deny the difficulties-I’m simply suggesting a good attitude
will help you to overcome any obstacles."

Ah...difficulties yes, but that is life. The life I've been hiding from
that is.